Thank you for visiting!
  • Home
  • Video
  • Pictures
  • About
    • Resumé
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Published Works
  • Upcoming Recitals

Suicide

5/20/2013

0 Comments

 
A library recently asked me to present a workshop about being a volunteer answering a suicide hotline.  There were almost 50 people in attendance ranging in age, race, economic diversity and motive for being there.  I transcribed some of the questions people asked of me.

Why did you decide to answer a suicide hotline?  Having been raised in a private rest home for the elderly, which my parents ran out of our 19 room house, caring for and helping people has always been part of who I am, it's in my DNA.  I spent 25 years volunteering at the Stratton VA hospital and since I wasn't doing that anymore, I wanted to find another way to reach out to people who were in pain.  I also volunteered at a homeless shelter.

How many volunteers were there answering the lines?  There were at the most, five us us who were paid during the day and at night there was usually only one volunteer on duty.  There were about thirty volunteers in total.  We were open from nine in the morning to ten at night.   Now that the center has lost their funding, the lines are only open a few hours each day. 

What happens if you were on the phone with someone and your shift was over?  We all took a pledge that the caller would come first and if we were on the phone with them at the time of closing, we would remain there to finish the call for as long as it took.  I was covering for a volunteer one evening and a call came in minutes before ten.  It was a long call.  After hanging up and writing out my report, it was well after midnight. 

What was the longest call you've had?  Calls can range from five minutes to two hours.  There are many variables.   My longest call was about an hour and a half.  We also had an internet chat line.   One time my supervisor was chatting with a person for two hours when she had to leave.  She discreetly passed the chat off to another staff member who chatted with the person online for another two hours when she had to begin a training class for new volunteers.  I was about to leave and she asked me to stay and continue the chat.  I was there for about two hours when the person finally decided to end the chat because they felt that they were going to be okay.  That was a difficult chat to take because I had to read the entire chat log and continue the current conversation at the same time.  That sort of thing rarely happens. 

What kind of people were the volunteers and what was their motive for doing that kind of work?  There were many reasons people answered the phones.  Some volunteers knew someone or had a family member complete suicide so they wanted to answer the phones to help others and, to honor the memory of their loved one.  One volunteer's son completed suicide so as a pseudonym she took on the feminine version of her son's name in remembrance of him.  Others where college students looking to get something impressive on their resumé.  They usually didn't stay long.  Some were retired people looking to do something to keep busy or give back.  Some were people who were unemployed hoping that if they could prove themselves, they may get hired if an opening presented itself.  One woman was arrested for drugs and prostitution and was required to perform community service so she chose this.  Regardless of motivation, everyone found it rewarding on many levels and most of us cared deeply for the callers.  There was only one person I couldn't figure out.  He used to surf the internet during calls and grumbled when a call came in.  We were both given the task of verifying referrals and in one day I had called over a 100 people and he called about 25.  He said it was because he got a lot of calls but I checked his call log, plus, I was first in the queue that day. He kept an iPad discreetly tucked into his employee handbook and had an earphone tucked into his headset.  He spent most of his time watching movies online or playing video games.  He was the exception.   Ironically he got a big promotion.

Did anyone who called in actually take their life?  There is no way to know that.  I don't know.  We do know about some of the people whom we have saved because they call back.

Why do you say "complete" and not "commit?"  I had an English teacher who taught us Latin roots.  COM means "with" and MIT means "thread."  So for me it means to follow through with something with no indication of outcome, and it also has negative psychiatric connotations such as committing someone.  COMPLETE means "with" and "full."  It means to fully perform the task rather than follow a thread.  It is just my preference. 

Have you ever answered the phone and known the caller?  Six times.  That's why some of us with unique names take on a pseudonym.  I also answered the phone three times and saw that the callers lived a few blocks from my house.  The first thing I do when a call comes in is to type the number into our program.  If the caller has called before, a record of their previous calls will come up.  That way I can better help them by reading about their call history.  I also reverse search their number in an attempt to get an address in case the call becomes a medical emergency. 

Have you ever gotten any prank calls?  All the time.  Mostly teenagers.  I listen carefully to the background sounds of every call because those sounds can reveal a lot about the caller.  If I hear a dog or cat for instance, I can use that knowledge later in the call as a "Protective Factor."  I also listen for giggling or someone else whispering in the background.  Many prank callers aren't prepared to answer questions and you can hear a friend in the background helping with the answers.  After a while you get to know when someone is truly depressed, in crisis or prank calling.  Their tone and answer content doesn't lie.  Despite that, we treat every call as a real call.  Once we discern that it is a prank, we politely end the call because a real caller may be trying to get through.  As much fun as some of them are, we have to keep the lines open.

What is a protective factor? A reason to live.  A person who owns a pet may not kill themselves because they are concerned about what would happen to their pet if they were no longer around to care for them.  Other protective factors are family, friends, someone who is with them at the time of the call, the fact that they called, plans for the future or even religious beliefs that forbid suicide.  Listening carefully to the caller is important to help identify these factors for and to them.  It is also important to weigh these against any existing "Risk Factors" such as previous attempts, the means are there, the intent is strong, any kind of loss the caller is concerned with such as a relationship, job or poor health.  Many callers will consider suicide because of seemingly insignificant concerns but,those are usually the "final straw" and not the real problem.

How do you know the identity of the person calling?  We have caller ID but we also ask the caller for their first name.  If they don't want to give one, we tell them it is okay but I then ask for a fake name.  I like to call a person by a name throughout their call.   I think it is important to call people by name.   If they block their caller ID information, that is okay.  I once had a woman use a fake name and before she ended the call, she shared with me her real name.  That was very touching to me.

Do you ever call 911 on a person contemplating suicide?  It was our office policy not to.  Other suicide hotlines may vary.  We would call 911 if we had permission or the person lapsed into a non-responsive state.  We call those "medical emergency" calls.

Do you ever get depressed after talking to people and hearing about all their problems?  I don't.  I have the ability to drop and forget everything after each call.  I can answer each call fresh and new with every person who reaches out to us.  Our supervisors are always available to talk and debrief us if needed.  Once my supervisor was listening in on a call, for quality control, and after the call she came over to ask if I wanted to talk about the caller.  She was even teary eyed.  I have a good genetic self defense mechanism and can let things go.  It has always been easy for me to forgive and forget.  In "Star Trek: Into Darkness," Spock elegantly waxes about how his choice not to feel does not imply that he is cold.  On the contrary, he chooses not to feel because he feels too much.  Maybe that is me.

How come you lost your funding?  People don't think suicide is important or is as pervasive as it really is. Write your congressman!  A suicide center is not a money making business and our office was unable to sustain itself in this economy.  You need space, phones, computers, internet, IT personnel, heat, electricity, software, supervisors, people to train volunteers, people to seek and screen volunteers.  There is a lot of overhead that most people are not aware of.  It is not just a phone line.  Although, I do currently answer a hotline for a prison organization and they provide the phone.  It is more laid back, the calls are not recorded and no records are kept.  I am just there to  offer support and listen.  Write your law makers asking them to support these services.  There is a large portion of our population who are either depressed, struggling, thinking about suicide, or wish they were dead.  It's a sin that we are not there to help them while congress can vote themselves raises. 

Why would you record a call?  Quality assurance and training.  Each and every call is totally confidential.  No data, information or recording leaves our office.  Supervisors listen to the recordings so they can provide feedback to us in an effort to improve our service to the callers.    We also write up reports about the call so that other people who answer the phones can read the reports both for learning purposes and in case that person ever calls back.  The information from previous calls can help to steer the conversation especially if the caller is quiet and reserved. 

If someone calls after ten pm and you're not there, what happens? It gets routed to another suicide hotline office.  It is all automated.  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 24/7. 

Do you ever get a caller who doesn't want to kill themselves but needs to talk?  All the time.  Most callers have ambivalence (both + strength), that's why they call because they don't want to die.  All of our callers are going though some kind of emotional pain and don't know how to make it stop.  They do have the strength and courage to call for help.  We are there to get them through the moment.

Do you get people who harm themselves in other ways such as cutting?  All the time.  Especially teenagers.  I don't know where they get this idea of cutting.  Many people think that the pain of physical cutting will take away their emotional pain.  I ask many of these callers that the next time they want to hurt themselves, instead of hitting, cutting or biting, try holding an ice cube in their hand.  They will get the pain and not scar or bruise or bleed.  It does not solve their problem but ameliorates the symptom of wanting to feel pain without doing permanent damage.  We often ask people if they want referrals to support groups, counselors, hospitals or mental health agencies. 
0 Comments

    Archives

    November 2019
    October 2019
    October 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    August 2012
    September 1990

    Categories

    All
    211
    5th
    94 Years Old
    Abraham Lincoln
    Aclu
    Addiction
    Adirondack
    Adirondacks
    African American
    Alcohol
    Algonquin Mountain
    Alta
    Altamont
    Amazing Grace
    Amsterdam
    Amy Prothro
    Anger Management
    Animals
    Announcement
    Anslinger
    Ant
    Anything Goes
    Apple
    A Quiet Place
    Arawak
    Arioso
    Arrangement
    Arrest
    Asbestos
    Assange
    Astrology
    Attendance
    Audition
    Avalanche Lake
    Avalanche Pass
    Bach
    #badpianochallenge
    Bad Piano Challenge
    Barter
    Bass
    Bath
    Beethoven
    Benefit
    Bieber
    Big Brother
    Bike
    B.I.N.G.O.
    Bird
    Birds
    Black Eyed Susan
    Blacks
    Blessed Assurance
    Blueberries
    Blue Danube
    Blues
    Boellmann
    Bone
    Booth Tarkington
    Boring
    Boundary Mountain
    Brace
    Brachiopod
    Braodway Diner
    Breast Cancer
    Bronze Star
    Brooklyn Bridge
    Buddha
    Budget
    Bulletin
    Bunessan
    Buxtehude
    Buying
    Byron Nilsson
    By The Light Of The Silvery Moon
    Caesars
    Campfire
    Canal Street
    Cantata
    Car Chase
    Carillon
    Carpal Tunnel
    Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
    Carpenter Ant
    Carrie Underwood
    Cat
    Catskills
    Charlie Haden
    Chobani
    Choir
    Choir Director
    Choosing A Church
    Choosing Music
    Choral
    Chord
    Christ
    Christian
    Christmas Eve
    Church
    Circus Musician
    City Lights
    Cliff Climbing
    Clouds
    Clubs
    Cocktail Piano
    Coffee
    Colden Mountain
    Cole Porter
    Colon
    Colony
    Columbus
    Columbus Day
    Come On Eileen
    Company
    Compassion
    Composer
    Congress
    Contracts
    Contrast Bath
    Convention
    Cookbook Of Love
    Cop
    Crane
    Crime
    Criminal
    Cross
    Cts
    Cuomo
    Cure
    Daisy
    Darlene Edwards
    Daughter
    Death
    Delphinium
    Devonian
    Dexys Midnight Runners
    Diamond
    Did You Ever See A Lassie
    Director
    Discount
    Dog Poop
    Dogs
    Dove
    Driving
    Drone
    Drop
    Drowned
    Drugs
    Drug Use
    Dss
    Duality
    Dwi
    Eagles Wings
    Earl Grant
    Earth
    East
    Easter Vigil
    Ego
    Elaine Stritch
    Elderly
    Ellenville
    Employee
    Encore
    Endurance
    Enlightenment
    Ergonomic
    Error
    Facebook
    Failing
    Failure
    Fakes
    Famm
    Fat
    Felon
    Feral
    Fifth Station
    First Presbyterian Church Gloversville
    Fishing
    Fitbit
    Five Foot Two
    Flight Of The Bumblebee
    Flood
    Flower
    Flowers
    Flute Sonata
    Folding
    Folk Group
    Food Network
    Food Stamps
    Forearm Rotation
    Forgiveness
    Fossil
    Fray
    Free Accompaniment
    Fugue
    Fugue In G Minor
    Funeral
    Gabriel
    Gang
    Ganglion Cyst
    Garden
    Gazebo
    GED
    Gender
    Get In The Way
    Gia
    Gideon Putnam
    Gloversville
    Gold
    Google Fiberinternet
    Gordian Knot
    Gossip
    Government
    Gps
    Grieg
    Growth
    Gun
    Gunks
    Gym Class
    Gymnopedies
    Hall Of The Mountain King
    Halloween
    Hanging Tree
    Harmony
    Harry Anslinger
    Hawk
    Heal
    Healing
    Heist
    Helderberg
    Here Comes The Bride
    Hero
    Hiking
    Hippopontamus
    Hire
    Hiring
    Hit
    Homeless
    Homily
    Horseshoe
    Horse Shoe
    Horse Trails
    Hosta
    Hotline
    House Breaking
    How Dry I Am
    HR
    Hudson River
    Humoresque
    Hymn
    Hymns
    Hymn Tune Index
    Ice Breaker
    Ice Caves
    Idol
    Iftheygunnedmedown
    If They Gunned Me Down
    Improvisation
    Improvising
    Indians
    Injuries
    Injury
    Inspiration
    Internet
    In Three Days
    Ipad
    Iroquois Peak
    Is A Ticket An Arrest
    It Factor
    Itsy Bitsy
    Itsy Bitsy Spider
    I Wonder As I Wander
    Jackie Davis
    Jack Reacher
    Javits Center
    Jazz
    Jazz Hymn
    Jazz Piano
    Jesus
    Jesus Dies On The Cross
    Jesus Falls The First Time
    Jesus Falls The Second Time
    Jesus Falls The Third Time
    Jesus Is Condemned To Death
    Jesus Is Laid In The Tomb
    Jesus Is Nailed To The Cross
    Jesus Is Stripped Of His Garments
    Jesus Is Taken Down From The Cross
    Jesus Meets His Mother
    Jesus Meets The Women
    Jesus Takes Up His Cross
    Jig
    Joan Rivers
    Jobs
    Join
    Joncas
    Jo Stafford
    Kaaterskill Falls
    Katz
    Knots
    Kogut
    Kogut Malcolm
    Kogut Rest Home
    Kokopelli
    Korsakov
    Kresmer
    La Guardia
    Lake Tear In The Clouds
    Land Slide
    Lanza
    Law
    Laws
    Leadership
    Lectionary
    Legalization
    Legalize Pot
    Legislator
    Lemon Squeeze
    Lesson
    Lifestring Theory
    Ligament
    Lighted Shirt
    Liquor
    Liturgy
    Living Room Routine
    Locks
    London Bridge
    London Bridge Is Falling Down
    Lord In Your Great Love
    L'organo Primitivo
    Lump
    Malcolm
    Malcolm Kogut
    Malcolm Kogut
    Mandela
    Manning
    Marcy Dam
    Marcy Lake
    Margaret Chin
    Marijuana
    Mark
    Marry
    Mary Had A Little Lamb
    Mass
    Mcconnell
    Mcconnelling
    #mcconnelling
    Mclaines Diner
    Medema
    Median Nerve
    Medical Marijuana
    Membership
    Memorization
    Memorize Music
    Memory
    Men
    Metanoia
    Metrical Index
    Ministry
    Minnewaska State Park
    Misdemeanor
    Mistake
    Mohawk River
    Mohonk
    Mohonk Mountain House
    Mom
    Moonlight Sonata
    Morning Has Broken
    Mother
    Mourning
    Mouse
    Movement
    Msuci
    Mt. Marcy
    Mud
    Murder
    Muscle
    Music
    Musician
    Musicians
    Musicians Of Ma'alwyck
    Myra Brooks Welch
    Nathaniel Cy Ingram
    Native Americans
    Nature
    Neck
    Newtown Ct
    Night Boat To Albany
    Nodule
    No Snitch
    Nouwen
    Nsa
    Nspl
    Nursery Rhyme
    N-word
    Ny
    Nyc
    Offend
    Offender
    Old Age
    Old MacDonald
    Olympics
    One Organ
    Opposite Direction
    Organ
    Organist
    Organ Music
    Origami
    Oscar Peterson
    Others
    Outdoor Cat
    Out Of Tune
    Outside
    Overture
    Pachelbel's Canon
    Park
    Paula Deen
    Paying Bills
    Pedestrian
    Performance
    Phantom
    Phantom Of The Opera
    Phlox
    Piano
    Pietro Yon
    Pipe Organ
    Piracy
    Planning
    Playing
    Plotterkill
    Plotter Kill
    Poem
    Poison
    Police
    Poor
    Pop Goes The Weasel
    Posture
    Pot
    Prayer
    Prayer Of St. Francis
    Prayer Of St. Francis
    Prayer Service
    Prejudice
    Priest
    Prison
    Psalm 69
    Public Assistance
    Racist
    Radio Station
    Ragtime
    Rainbow
    Rape
    Rebate
    Recital
    Registration
    Registry
    Release Barabbas
    Religion
    Representative
    Rest Home
    Revenge
    Right Of Way
    Rip Off
    Ritual Healing
    Robin Williams
    Rodgers
    Romans
    Romeo And Juliet
    Rope
    Rose Of Sharon
    Rotterdam
    Rotterdam Flats
    Running
    Rye Bread Music Festival
    Sacred Dance
    Salary
    Sales
    Salt And Pepper Shaker
    Salt Lake City
    Sandy Hook
    Santa Clara County
    Satie
    Save Money
    Saving Lives
    Scam
    Scar Tissue
    Schenectady
    Schumer
    Security
    Seek Ye First
    Senate
    Senator
    Service
    Sex
    Sexism
    Shaun White
    Shawangunk
    Sheet Music
    Shepherd Collie
    Shmaltz
    Shopping
    Shuffle
    Siciliano
    Silver Star
    Simon Helps Jesus Carry The Cross
    Sing
    Singing
    Six Feet
    Six Hands
    Sixties
    Skiing
    Skull Shirt
    Sky
    Slavery
    Slaves
    Slide
    Small Talk
    Smell Of Death
    Smithfield
    Snitch
    Snowbird
    Snowden
    Sochi
    Solitude
    Sondheim
    Song Introductions
    Sore Hands
    Soul
    Sound Activated
    Specs
    Spider Web
    Spirit Of The Living God
    Spiritual
    Spying
    Squat
    Stain Glass Windows
    Stalk
    St Annes Church7806578e0c
    State Fair
    Station Eleven
    Stations Of The Cross
    Stayin Alive
    Steamships
    Stop List
    Storyteller
    Story Telling
    Stretch
    Stride
    String Theory
    Suicide
    Suite Gothique
    Surely Not I
    Surveillance
    Sweet Georgia Brown
    Tahawus
    Taize
    Take The Pledge
    Target
    Ta Ta
    Tattoo
    Tchaikovsky
    Tendon
    Tendonitis
    Ten Little Indians
    Tennessee Ernie Ford
    Term Limits
    Terro
    Texting
    Thanksgiving
    Thatcher Park
    Thats Life5953658d17
    The Arrest
    Theater Organ
    Theatre Organ
    The Burial
    The Eighth Station
    The Fourteenth Station
    The Fourth Station
    The Ninth Station
    The Old Violin
    The Passion
    The Price Is Right
    The Seventh Station
    The Sixth Station
    The Sound Of Music
    The Tenth Station Of The Cross
    The Thirteenth Station
    The Twelfth Station
    The Wedding Song
    This Old Man
    Ticket
    Tickets
    Time Warner Cable
    Toast
    Toccata
    Toccata In D Minor
    Tom Savoy
    Tops Diner
    Torch Song
    Tornado
    Traffic
    Traffic Court
    Trail
    Traitor
    Transfiguration
    Trap Dike
    Trap Dyke
    Trees
    Trilobite
    Trumpet Vine
    Tunein
    Turkey Vulture
    Turning
    Twinkle
    Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
    Twitter
    Utah
    Veronica Wipes The Face Of Jesus
    Verse
    Victoza
    Vierne
    Volunteer
    Wachet Auf
    Walmart
    War
    Warm Up
    Warrant
    Waterfalls
    Water From Rock
    Webber
    Wedding Music
    Weed
    We Gather Together
    Weight-lifting
    Wells-ny
    West
    We-will-rest-in-you
    Whales
    Whistleblower
    Widors Fifth4386540bf6
    Widor Toccata
    Wild Sunflower
    William Tell Overture
    Witches
    Wlp
    Women
    World Library Publications
    Worse-piano
    Worst-piano
    Wrgb
    Wright Peak
    Wrist
    Wrist Pain
    Write
    Yogurt
    Youth
    Zenithink
    Zodiac
    Zugzwang

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.